Category: giving baby up for adoption

Pregnant and Thinking of Giving Your Baby Up for Adoption?

Posted On Apr 01 2017

5 Essential Steps of How the Adoption Process Works

Facing an unplanned pregnancy can be difficult and confusing. Your mind may be filled with questions and doubts. You are most likely overwhelmed with many feelings and emotions. Many women have stood in the same shoes and experienced the same emotional see-saw. Adoption may be the toughest choice you will ever make in your life. However, giving your baby up for adoption is also the most selfless choice a you may ever make.

Here are 5 basics steps that will help you as you make your choice:

Step 1 – Decide if Adoption is Right for You and Your Child

When you initially find out that you are pregnant and it is not planned you may just want a solution or a way out. But do not jump into anything.

 Giving up a baby is a life-changing decision, take your time to feel and think before making any decisions.

Although you can change your mind anytime, it is best to make an informed choice before you too far.

Talk to adoption professionals to learn about the different adoption options and to get advice on how to move forward.

They understand what you must be going through and will educate you about the interests of you and your baby without pressure or judgment.

Step 2 – Creating an Adoption Plan

You should be able to create an adoption plan that centers on your individual needs and desires. You may not know all of the choices available to you but with the guidance of a trained adoption professional you will be able to explore all of the options available to you.  They can help you explore your needs and preferences and they will help you locate an adoptive family that meets your needs.

You will be able to choose the family and decide how much contact you want with them. You can choose either an open or a closed adoption.

Step 3 – Finding an Adoptive Family

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Once you decide that giving your baby up for adoption is the right choice you will be able to choose the family who you want to adopt your baby.

Finding the right family for your baby is the most important part of the adoption process. You will be able to choose from many prescreened waiting families and you will be able to decide who you feel will be the best parents for your child.

If there are specific things you hope for in a family you should be able to outline those needs and find a family that offers exactly what you are looking for.

Step 4 – Getting to Know the Adoptive Family

 If you choose an open adoption, you will have the chance to get to know the adoptive parents and you will be able to share your dreams for the baby with them. You can personally see if the family matches your expectations and how they will nurture your child into the kind of person you want. Your meeting with adoptive parents will help you evaluate them and be more confident about your adoption choice

You will be able to decide just how much contact you want with the adoptive family after the birth. There are many levels of openness. Most women want to receive pictures and updates through the years and some want a much more open adoption that includes ongoing visits. It is important that the family you choose shares your desire for contact.

Some families are very open to visits and some are not. If you want ongoing visits it is important to communicate that with the family you choose. Be sure that they are willing to honor that desire.

Step 5 – Preparing for the Hospital Stay

Much like the adoption plan, a pregnant woman always has a say about their hospital stay. The adoption professional that is there to work with you throughout your pregnancy will listen to your needs, and prepare you for your hospital stay. They should help you prepare for all of the feelings and emotions that you may experience. Exploring the possible emotions and preparing before the delivery will make things much easier for you.

 You will create a hospital plan and will be able to decide exactly how you want things to go at the hospital.

You can decide if you would like the adoptive parents to be in the room. You will also decide how much or how little contact you want with the baby. Some women want the baby with them and some do not even want to see the baby. Every woman is different and your needs and desires should be honored.

Hopefully, the article has highlighted all important aspects of the complete adoption procedure. In case of further questions about giving up a baby for adoption you can connect with adoption specialist and get the best adoption help.

 

Turning Adoption Into a Positive Experience

Posted On Mar 18 2017

I have worked with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy.  The Women who have chosen adoption have committed to putting themselves aside for 9 months in order to give their baby life.

Some say they feel selfish for choosing adoption. My answer to them is how can putting yourself aside in order to bring a baby into the world and then hand picking the life you want  for that child be selfish?  I have found the women I work with to be brave, giving and unselfish, wanting their child to have the best from life even if they know they are not the one who can give them that life. So selfish is not a word I would use to describe the choice of giving a baby up for adoption.

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Once you have made your choice let go of any guilt or feelings of being a bad person, you are giving your child the greatest gift possible “Life” and you are helping create a family for someone who cannot have a child on their own.

 Now how can you use this experience to help improve your life situation? A healthy adoption should be a win- win for everyone involved and that means for you too. Not just for the baby or for the adopting family but this should be a time where you move ahead and correct areas in your life that are not where you need them to be.

You have a choice and the choice is to place the baby and to go back to the same life you have been living or you can use the time to make changes you may be need to make to improve your life going forward.

Steps you can take to turn this pregnancy into a positive time of growth:

  • You will be provided a social worker to help you with all of the feelings and emotions you have about the pregnancy and the adoption. Use those services to help you find peace with your choice.
  • Choose an adoptive family that you truly connect with. Many times wonderful nurturing relationships unfold between adoptive parents and birth parents. This relationship can be incredibly supportive and can help you in ways you may never have anticipated.
  • Take some time to think about what you want in life going forward. If there are areas that have not been working, or mistakes you have made repeatedly , use this time to reflect on what you want to change and how you can use this difficult experience to motivate you to make the necessary changes to move on to a better life.
  • You will receive help with pregnancy related living expenses. If you are financially unstable this can help you get on your feet and help you stay stable after the birth.
  • If you are in an unhealthy relationship take the steps you need to correct the relationship or make a plan to move on.
  • Draw on the strength and support of family and friends

I hope you find the strength you need as you move through the months ahead.

Adoption the Misunderstood Choice

Posted On Mar 10 2017

So you have found out you are pregnant and you are not in a position to raise a baby.  What will you do? At first you do not know what to do, but then after much thought you decide adoption is best for you and your baby. You have decided on adoption because you love your baby and you do not feel you can give him or her all that they need or all that you want for them.

You begin learning and exploring about adoption and as you do you realize that you are making a choice you can feel good about. You will be able to make someone’s dream of being a parent come true and you will be able to know you gave your baby the gift of life and the gift of a family that you have chosen. You feel it is a good and selfless choice, and you start taking steps to create an adoption plan.

Give up baby up for adoption

Once you have made the choice you may begin to tell the people close to you that you are considering giving your baby up for adoption. You tell them and hope that they will offer you support and make the decision easier. If you are lucky the people in your life will understand and support your decision. Women who find this support have a much easier time getting through the pregnancy.

Do not be surprised if the people in your life do not understand. Those who have not walked in your shoes, or dealt with the hardships you are facing may not understand. Women who choose adoption often have to deal with a lack of understanding and a lack of sensitivity. People may say things that are hurtful such as “How can you give your baby away? Or why would you ever do that? Unfortunately adoption is a very misunderstood choice. People are not educated about adoption and their lack of knowledge can cause them to say hurtful things.

If you find yourself facing insensitive people, it may simply mean that you need to educate them, explain why you feel adoption is the right choice for you and share the information you have. If you have selected a family share the family profile. Tell them why you picked the family and you can even offer to involve them in the process. Most adopting parents are willing to meet your family and friends if you want them to.  People often come around once they really understand why you made your choice and how adoption works.

If the people in your life do not come around there is plenty of help and support available. You will receive counseling from an adoption social worker. The social worker can be there to offer you emotional support throughout your pregnancy. Adoption social workers can help you sort through all of your emotions and can prepare you for some you may not even know you will have. They will provide an ear and a place where you can express all of your feelings and emotions without judgment.

Support can also come from the adoptive parents you choose. Often times and incredible bond will form between you and the adoptive parents. This is often unexpected but it can be and incredibly supportive and nurturing relationship.

The key is to know what is right for you and your baby and then draw the support you need.